Run Away to Nowhere

Week 10 - A Few Answers

2010-12-21T12:30:00.003-06:00

"The man who can drive himself further once the effort gets painful is the man who will win." - Sir Roger Bannister

I decided in October that I will not give up in my goal to run a half marathon. In my personal history, I have given up plenty of times. This is not one of those times. I will run the half marathon in May.

This past week, I learned about a free sports injury evaluation offered by a local hospital. I couldn't believe my luck, as I had so recently complained I could not afford a doctor's visit nor physical therapy. When I heard of the sports injury evaluation program, I called immediately.

On Wednesday morning, I met with a specialized physical therapist/trainer, not knowing what to expect. I figured I'd probably get ten minutes, maybe twenty minutes if I were lucky. I was more than lucky.

What a great program! Christian, my PT, checked out all aspects of my history, mobility, and pain triggers. He then gave me his analysis, demonstrated some exercises, and suggested knee braces that will help. All for free. Wow. I am excited that I have an official, professional opinion. All in all, I was correct in my personal evaluation, but now I know the PT solutions. I had suspected that the causes were 1) I'm a female with wide hips and 2) my inward gait (caused by my messed up hips from birth - I was "in-toed" as a toddler).

Although his evaluation of my injury was exactly what I expected to hear (as I had completed my own self-analysis over these many weeks of recovery), he provided additional details about the mechanics of the knee joint and specific exercises to improve my condition.

So, I feel good that I was right (LOL), but I didn't know how to fix the problem. That was what held me back from progressing with my running. Now, I have to purchase the right knee brace, work on strengthening my hip abductors to fix my misalignment, and adjust my running mechanics. These suggestions are all easier said than done, but I'm going to keep trying.

I am very hopeful that this is the turning point for recovery and success.

Week 9 - Losing Hope

2010-12-13T11:37:00.004-06:00

Well, I ran this week, and my knee continues to hurt. I am losing hope that I will reach my goal of running a half marathon.

Of course, the past few weeks was purely busy and lazy, but this week I was determined to get back into running. I had assumed that those weeks off of my knee would make it all better, but it didn't.

I went back into my routine of walk .25 mile, run 1 mile, etc., but at the end of that first mile, the knee pain came back with each step. It only hurts while running. While walking, it's not really an issue. Of course, I can feel a hint of pain while walking, but it's not nearly as painful as running.

Unfortunately, I am unable to afford to consult with a physician for this problem. Maybe I can save up some money for a consultation soon.

In the meantime, I'm going to add yoga to my exercise regimen, as it is possible increased stretching will help ease the connective tissue tug-of-war going on under my kneecap.

Wish me luck!

Week 8 - Where Does The Time Go?

2010-12-06T13:30:00.002-06:00

Another week without running. I feel terrible about it.

It seems I have had no time to myself, but I know that is not true. I do know I have been spending a lot of time preparing for Christmas and with the kids. It's simply a matter of fitting in the running into my busy schedule.

I promise to run this week. I promise.

Week 7: Rest

2010-11-28T15:49:00.002-06:00

Let's just say I took another week off.

I was alone with the kids this week, so I felt exhausted every night. Then, with the Thanksgiving holiday, I was simply lazy. No reasons... just excuses.

I must admit, however, I am afraid to run again, as much as I want to get back into training. I am afraid of learning that my knee is injured beyond repair. Of course, I know I am exaggerating a possible outcome, but it is quite possible.

I will try running again tomorrow, and hopefully my fears will be unfounded.

Week 6: Healing

2010-11-22T10:37:00.004-06:00

"You don't know what you've got until it's gone."

The good news is that I ran my one mile outdoors last Monday. I was very proud.

The bad news is that I stopped running for the rest of the week to allow my knee to heal.

After missing last week's goal, I really wanted to prove that running outside was just a psychological block, and that I definitely could do it. My neighborhood has no street lights and no sidewalks, and even with reflective clothing, I feel it is too dangerous to run in the dark near home. Instead, I drove to the local high school campus with ample lighting and safe sidewalks. One complete circle around the campus is approximately 1.1 miles. Perfect.

I was nervous, but confident, and honestly, I am just too damn stubborn to give up. Although I don't know what speed I was running, my gait seemed fairly consistent with my treadmill runs. At the end of the first mile, I walked .25 miles to catch my breath. In my second mile, my left knee started hurting again. I tried to ignore the pain, but it hurt more and more with each stride. After about .5 mile, I walked again, hoping I could just "shake it off."

Funny, I kept thinking that if I just walked a little, my knee would miraculously heal itself. So, I continued on, running and walking in .5 increments, until I had completed 3 miles total for the night. It was difficult for me to realize that this knee pain might be something serious, because I've never had to deal with something like this before.

After running, I went home to RICE - rest, ice, compression, and elevation (plus ibuprofen!). I knew the drill, and I really thought it would be better the next day. It was definitely better, but my strength training and spin workouts didn't help it. I could definitely feel continued swelling and discomfort under my kneecap, and knew I better take it easy for the rest of the week, if I were going to run again soon.

So all week, I researched the causes and treatment of knee pain. I'm not ready to see a doctor about this, as I have limited insurance coverage and certainly not enough money to afford much beyond preventive care.

With my research, I determined that I have a number of factors against me to cause "runner's knee."

I am not stretching enough. I have strong quads and hamstrings, but it is likely that the muscles and connective tissues (especially my IT band) may be playing tug-of-war under my kneecap.
Pronation of my feet. I bought specific shoes to correct this condition, but apparently, the other problems are making this overpronation a much bigger issue.
I am a female. This makes sense to me, as the female figure is naturally imbalanced between the hips and knees.
I have wider hips than most women. This is obviously a factor in my running, and is likely affecting the way my feet strike the ground.

I hope that a week off of running, with plenty of ibuprofen and ice will help me get back into running again soon. I also bought a knee brace to help keep my patella in place, and I'm ready to buy additional insole cushions to correct the pronation, if needed. I will continue to stretch much more than I have been stretching after each run. My rare TV time has become stretch time as well. It's all good.

As much as I hate to run (seriously), I have been upset all week that I haven't been able to go for a run. When people saw me icing my knee or when I told people about the swelling, many of them assumed I was simply giving up the half-marathon goal. That made me feel sad and a little angry. I realize the doubters are exactly the fire I need to keep moving in my goal.

I WILL reach my goal of running a half-marathon in May. I just have a lot to learn about taking even better care of my body than I have been.

By the end of this week, I hope to be back running without knee pain. I'm not hoping to increase my mileage. I just want to be able to run again.

Week 5: Ouch!

2010-11-14T19:00:00.001-06:00

My knee hurts.

Yesterday, while running on the treadmill, my left knee started to hurt during my last half-mile. I pushed through it, and then walked my last quarter-mile as a cool down. I assumed it would start feeling better when I was walking, but I was wrong. I considered how this could affect my training, as little as I have accomplished so far, and worried this pain would become a setback.

The knee pain felt like it was directly underneath my kneecap, between the bones, as I placed pressure on it with every step. I have had this pain before, but it usually occurred when I was kneeling and sitting on my feet for too long. With two kids, I spend time playing on the floor, with my knees bent under me. When this happened in the past, it never affected my walking for very long, but the discomfort was certainly annoying.

This time, the pain was less about discomfort, and more, literally, about pain. I knew the magic potion for recovery (or prevention of worsening the injury) was rest, ibuprofen, and ice. So, I've been icing it every so often, and taking some ibuprofen periodically. Thankfully, it doesn't hurt too much today, but I chose not to run today - just in case.

I feel bad about not running today, because I skipped my Wednesday run again. My mid-week run keeps getting messed up by my busy life, and although I have my runs scheduled into the family calendar, I just cannot seem to get up early for my Wednesday run. I will try again this week.

In addition, I failed to meet my goal of running one mile outside.

I am disappointed in myself, but I have to accept these failures.

We shall see how the knee feels tomorrow, and get back on track with the goals for Week 6.

Week 4: Facing Fears

2010-11-07T21:32:00.004-06:00

"Always do what you are afraid to do." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Since I have told everyone about my half-marathon goal, many people ask me "why?" I have chosen to start running.

My answer is, "because I'm afraid of running."

Last month, I was thinking of all of the things I am afraid of, and I decided to tackle one of them: running.

You could say I am using this time in my life to face my fears. However, there are fears that I can overcome, and there are fears that I will never face. For example, I will never let insects, spiders, and centipedes crawl all over me (LOL!). There are some fears that no human being should ever have to face! I am simply choosing one I know I can beat.

Well, before I get ahead of myself, let me say that this was a rough week. I had scheduling issues, food issues, and motivation issues.

I fear that I will not make it through this training, much less the half-marathon.

My regular running days are Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday (with cross-training on Tuesday and Thursday). This Wednesday was just chaotic. By the time I settled down from the day's events, it was 9pm. I just couldn't find the motivation to run, so I skipped it, anticipating replacing it with a run on Friday.

Of course, Friday was very busy, so I didn't run until later, but I couldn't skip another one. I only ran/walked 1.75 miles, but I tried something different. At the end of the first mile, after walking a bit, I tried a very short running burst of 7 m.p.h. I only managed a quarter-mile, and it was exhausting. That was it for the night.

On Saturday, I felt daunted by the cold outside, so I ran inside again. I did my running bursts at 5.5 m.p.h., so it was a little more intense. I could not finish my second mile burst at that speed, but I did keep going by lowering the speed.

On Sunday, I decided it was time to try running outside again. I made it running .5 mile, and then .25 walking, and a final .25 running. I was spent after only one mile, mainly because of my too-full stomach, and general feelings of frustration.

The too-full stomach has been a problem all week. I need to better manage my eating and my timing. I love to eat, and I don't always think about how that is going to affect my run later in the evening. So, I am learning that I am eating way too much, so much that my stomach still feels full when I start running.

Besides controlling my portions each day, I am slowly discovering which foods "work" and which foods "fail." Good foods are chicken Marsala and anything with rice - the night before running in the morning. Bad foods are candy and popcorn - at any time of day prior to running, especially if they are eaten the day of the run.

All of this discovery is making me feel frustrated, as sometimes it seems I will never learn my magic formula for running and progressing in my training. I really thought I could run the mile outside this week, but I just couldn't. I was very upset.

But, I must continue to face my fears. I will try to run the mile again tonight, while the weather is nice. By next week's blog entry, I want to be able to report that I can run one mile bursts outside. Fingers crossed.

Week 3: First Objective

2010-11-01T08:19:00.003-05:00

Happy Halloween!

I'm proud to say I reached my first objective: running one-mile without stopping. Not only that, I ran/walked a total of 3 miles - with TWO 1-mile bursts! That felt incredible! I still cannot believe I pushed through to accomplish it.

Overall, however, I felt like I had an "off-week." Through my local Recreation Department, I take both a Strength Training class and a Indoor Cycling class. This past week, we had no classes scheduled, as there is always a short break between sessions. I feel bad that I did not compensate for those workouts by doing yoga or step aerobics or strength training at home on my own, but that's pretty typical for me. Maybe the time off was needed, as I am more motivated than ever to get back into my exercise routine.

On Monday, I ran/walked on the treadmill 2.25 miles, with .75-mile running bursts. On Wednesday, I woke up early (again) for another 2.25 mile run/walk on the treadmill. I didn't run on Saturday, as scheduled, to continue the .75-mile run (outside), but instead, I went for the full mile indoors on Sunday morning. I'm glad I did. I'm certainly surprised at my success, but I am happy.

So, I did accomplish what I set out to do last week - I increased my runs to 2.5 to 3 miles in length, and I managed my longer bursts of running.

My running, by the way, is not at breakneck speed, but at a completely average 5 miles per hour (I'm sure there are race-walkers who could easily outdo my pace). Well, on my treadmill, I am running a 12-minute mile pace. I have no idea how quickly or slowly I am running outside. I'm thinking I need a speed/mileage gadget someday soon.

I may have had no other workouts this week, but I did have a very nice (and needed) 30-minute massage on Wednesday evening. It was an amazing stress-reliever. On Thursday, my normal weights and cycling night, I took a very long, hot bath. It was a great week to be a little lazier than usual. I daresay, I deserved it (?).

Still, I was worried that because I was not pushing myself with my regular exercise regimen this week, I would not reach my Halloween 1-mile objective. Somehow, my mind and body were in sync, and made it happen.

I feel proud, inspired, and a little nervous that I still may never reach my goal, but I'll keep trying.

I really have to work on getting outside to run that mile this week. It's going to be very tough, as the weather is getting colder every day. I hate feeling cold!

One final thought: today, Halloween, would have been my dad's 75th birthday. I miss him so much. My dad is part of my inspiration to achieve this goal, and I know he is with me to encourage me every step of the way.

Week 2: Keep Going

2010-10-24T17:05:00.004-05:00

"Keep going. I know I can do this."

These are the words that will become my mantra as I slowly work my way up to running 13.1 miles in May. It seems like such a long road (pun intended), but it will be so worthwhile when I finish.

I have my doubts, but I believe in mind over matter.

Yesterday, while running my neighborhood 1/2 mile spurts, I thought about how it will feel to cross the finish line. It is a huge motivation for me, but that doesn't make this goal any less difficult to achieve. Sometimes I wonder about if I am physically capable of running, as I'm having such trouble gaining ground, adding 1/4 mile to my bursts each week.

My talk of my marathon has inspired two others to start running as well. For this, I feel so proud. But part of me is also rather sad/frustrated that they have already reported to me that they can both run a full mile straight - literally, without even training. Of course, they both have run longer distances before, so maybe it's in their systems. I don't know. I'm a little upset at myself for my slow start - why can't I run a full mile, yet?

This week, I did my run/walk regimen three times (Monday-2 miles, Wednesday-1.75 miles, Saturday-3 miles), and my cross training on Tuesday and Thursday.

I try to keep my exercise schedule very steady, but I did have to change my Wednesday plans to run in the morning instead of the evening. I actually woke up at 5am to run. That is pretty crazy, as nothing can usually get me up that early! It goes to show that I am committed to this running goal, and all of my smaller objectives in between.

As a reward for my efforts this week, I went to Performance Running Outfitters in Brookfield to be fitted for proper running shoes. This store was highly recommended by my coworker, a frequent marathon runner. At the store, it was nice to have someone watch my running, my gait, and where my feet hit as I ran. I walked out of there with a nice (expensive) pair of Saucony running shoes. I used them for my Saturday run.

I ran inside on Monday and Wednesday, and I ran outside on Saturday (my "long" run). Why does it seem that the outside running is so much more difficult? The weather was very nice, so that certainly did not dampen my mood, but I just find it easier to run inside. Is there that much of a difference between my treadmill and the open road? I wish I had the answer, but I do know that I have to get used to running outside, as I will have no other choice in May for my half-marathon.

Week 3 objective: Run 3/4 mile bursts, and increase runs to cover at least 2.5 or 3 miles per run.

Week 1: A Slow Start

2010-10-17T15:49:00.006-05:00

I've always said, "if Hell had an exercise program, it would be marathon-running." Now, I must eat those words, and tough it out.

My quest to run a half-marathon has begun. I will summarize my progress at the end of every week.

I started my run/walk training program one week ago. As I already was taking both a weights and a spin class, my cross-training took care of itself. I like those classes, and they fit into my schedule very easily. The problem was adding the running 3 times per week. As a mother of two, time to myself is not easy to find. Thankfully, I have a great support system. Plus, I am simply no longer able to make up any excuses. If the kids go to bed at 8:00 PM, well, then I can't just waste time on the computer, I need to fit a run/walk into my schedule before I go to bed.

It is amazing how inspired I can be, and yet, when I begin running, all my hopes are dashed because I cannot seem to keep going. I know I'm just at the beginning, and I am starting slowly, but I can understand why people give up.

Last week, I started by walking and then alternating running 1/4 mile and walking 1/4 mile until I felt I had pushed myself enough.

On Monday, I walked/ran 1.25 miles total on my treadmill.

On Tuesday and Thursday, I attended my strength training class and my spin class.

On Wednesday, I walked/ran 1.75 miles in my neighborhood.

On Saturday, I walked/ran 2.25 miles in my neighborhood.

Friday and Sunday were recovery days (thankfully).

As much as I want to achieve my goal, I know me, and my ability to give up when I feel overwhelmed. This week, as I picked up my pace to a run, I found myself hating this half-marathon goal, and cursing myself for even attempting something so very far out of my reach.

Yes, it seems impossible.

Still, as much difficulty as I will have with this challenge, I will not give up. At least not this week. My next objective is to be able to run 1/2 mile straight. Can I achieve that by the end of this week?

Zero to 13.1 Miles: Running Scared

2010-10-15T20:46:00.005-05:00

"The miracle isn't that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start." - John Bingham

I have decided to start training to run a half-marathon in May 2011. I have 31 weeks to prepare. 31 weeks?! Yes, I will need all of that time, because right now, I cannot even run one mile.

Only once have I attempted to run one mile, and that was 8th grade, over 25 years ago. I remember the "course" - a small oval painted on the school parking lot. It seemed I ran that oval at least 50 times to complete the mile, and I hated every second of it. From that moment forward, exercise was my enemy, something I was required to do in gym class and nowhere else.

With that kind of attitude, you would think I were unhealthy, lethargic, and overweight. However, in fact, I am very healthy, only a little lazy, and had a short period of my life in which I was overweight, mainly because of marriage comfort and two pregnancies.

Three years ago, after being frustrated with my weight two years after the birth of my second child, I decided to start eating less. I chose to skip eating seconds and desserts (most of the time). Within two months, I had lost 15 pounds. A few months later, I improved my eating habits, and added a strength training class. The pounds just melted away. In a year, I had lost over 40 pounds. I was so proud.

And so with two years of weights, I am still going strong, although eating a bit more that I have gained 5 pounds back. Not too bad, though. I can accept that, because my muscle tone is pretty good. I still have my trouble spots, so I will keep working.

The strength training opened my eyes to the realization that exercise feels good, but it still didn't solve the problem I had with my lack of cardiovascular endurance. To remedy that, I added spinning to my exercise regimen, although I still do not push myself as hard as I should sometimes. Still, it helps me sustain a certain level of aerobic activity that I have never managed before in my life.

And so this past weekend, after discussing and dreaming with a friend about running a half-marathon, I decided to actually go for it. I researched a number of marathon training websites and local resources to find a program that fits my goals and my busy schedule.

Here are my objectives:

by 31 October 2010: Run one mile
by 31 December 2010: Run 30 minutes
by 31 January 2011: Run a 5K race
by 31 March 2011: Run a 10K race
15 May 2011: Run a half-marathon

These are crazy objectives. I know it. That is why I am announcing my intentions to everyone I know, as hiding my goal means I can hide my failures. I will try my best. Thankfully, thousands of people, just like me, have started from zero, and worked their way to a full marathon. I'm not aiming for the 26.2 miles, just the 13.1 miles. That will be miracle enough for me.

And as the quote at the top of this post says - the miracle is having the courage to start. I never thought I would ever do this, and I have my doubts that I could ever do this. Right now, I'm running scared.